I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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