there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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