on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
