Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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