Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Randomize
