dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I pour the whiskey from now on
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
