how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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