dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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