you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
