just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Dicks are not precious.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
