sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
