At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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