what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize