the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Randomize
