and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
