if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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