That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The Olympian is in my bed
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
