Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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