Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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