Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize