You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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