Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Everything about him screamed your future.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize