Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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