just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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