Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize