Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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