As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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