ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
