too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
