But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
