I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hippo gnu deer
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
