Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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