and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I think people are normalizing furries
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
