Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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