is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
