Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize