He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
