im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
