benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
