So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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