YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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