Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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