i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize