I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
