Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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