Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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