did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize