i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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