I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
ttyl tear gas
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
