Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
