Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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