so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize