You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
