Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
