i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
