I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
