i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i was born a porn star she said
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So many bounce houses so little time
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
