You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
